British economy

The British economy is estimated to have grown by 0.3 per cent in the past quarter, according to figures released yesterday.

This comes hot on the heels of this year's Rich List, which shows 11 new billionaires among a group of people worth a combined £450 billion and 80 per cent of whom made their own fortunes.

More billionaires are a sign of Britain's booming wealth and global brilliance, we're back on track, touch decisions have produced results, and it's probably about time we thanked George Osborne as a mark of our national gratitude!

So that growth of 0.3 per cent could actually be a frankly miraculous boom of one per cent, or it could be a buttock-clenching triple dip of -0.4 per cent. We don't know what the figure will be, but we do know the one we've had yesterday is almost certainly wide of the mark. Cheer up though, it could still be a positive figure. That's the politically-important bit. Anything over zero can be spun as though we've just won the lottery and can rush out to buy a Bentley, while a negative figure would be, well, um, let's just say embarrassing.